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Tampilkan postingan dengan label CuRaHan HaTi..... Tampilkan semua postingan
Tampilkan postingan dengan label CuRaHan HaTi..... Tampilkan semua postingan

Senin, 04 Juni 2012

aku.. dan myeolchi..








Huaa anyeoong,..
lama skali daku tidak berkunjung ke blog ane ini.. hihihi..

maklum semenjak jadi wanita karir makin jarang update di mari,..
sempet update status fesbuk aja udah sukur alhamdulillah... ahahahahhaha

entah ini menarik atau engga untuk disimak, but sekedar mencurahkan uneg uneg.. nih

jadi begini, fr today alias beberapa hari belakangan .. saya dihantui oleh sosok ini..
namanya lee hyuk jae..
Sebenarnya aku hanya mengenalnya sebagai couple biasku Lee donghae..
Lee's brother ini sama sekali aku tidak pernah menyangka akan memimpikannya.

Berawal dari kegalauanku tentang beredarnya piku "kissmark" di leher Donghae..
bayangkan!! KISS MARKKK!!!
ANDWEEEEEEE >,<
(mulai deh lebay!?)

Pokoknya aku patah hati dengan donghae oppa.
Aku ini, sensi banget dengan yang namanya cassanova dan entah kenapa kok firasatku mengatakan Donghae ini sedikit playboy! Dont bash me ok??!!
Karena aku pun menderita dengan pikiranku ini.

Aku sungguh sungguh ga suka dan terus terang lelah dengan berita kedekatan donghae dengan Yeoja.
Aku tahu sebagai ELF yang baik dengan siapapun itu, asal Donghae bahagia seharusnya aku bahagia. Tapi kenyataannya tidak demikian. Aku begitu patah hati dengan semua beritanya dengan Yeoja ini.. itu.. couple.. WGM..aigoooooo aku lelah...

dan suatu malam, di mimpiku yang tidak disangka hadirlah sosok sang couple yang tidak pernah kuperhitungkan. Dialah Lee hyukjae.
Sosok ceria yang bahkan dinilai kurang tampan oleh Kyuhyun, tapi .. dia sungguh bisa membuatku tersenyum dengan semua keluguan, keceriaan, dan kelembutannya.
(*mungkin sugesti karena dia juga pernah patah hati )



intinya sejak malam itu.. perlahan lahan wajahnya mengalihkan duniaku. dari yang semula berkiblat pasang kacamata kuda ke HAE si IKAN MOKPPO sekarang.. pandanganku teralihkan pada couplenya ini...

Entah perasaanku ini waras atau tidak aku pun frustasi.. yang jelas... aku sungguh berharap bisa memiliki nya bukan hanya di dalam mimpi.
Aku lelah dengan namja pembohong, dan suka mempermainkan yeoja. Aku lebih membutuhkan sosok penyayang seperti hyuk jae untuk saat ini

Akan kah Tuhan memberikan Lee hyuk jae untukku atau dia hanya ditakdirkan menjadi impian saja...
Molla....













Selasa, 10 Januari 2012

tears in 49 days...

baru saja menamatkan nonton 49 days.. lagi lagi korea drama.
huufth,.. hidup kita ini sangat berharga,..dan kita baru sadar berharganya itu
ketika masa hidup kita aka segera berakhir..

Tapi, disamping itu ada hal lain yang juga bikin aku merenung.. dan tersadar (hahahah tadinya aku pingsan!!)
tentang ketulusan yang diceritakan di drama 49 days..hmm...
Aku jadi mikir, kalau aku misalnya mendapat waktu 49 hari dari sang scheduler...
pasti aku gagal jadi pengembara nya.
Wae?? karena memang ga ada yang akan memberikan air mata dengan tulus ketika aku koma ..

Si ji hyun aja,..yang PD punya temen dan tunangan bisa ternyata susah sekali dapat air mata ketulusan..hehehe..
apalagi seorang Nima.
Hahahah ga akan ada yang tulus menangis untukku..

Bahkan mungkin, mereka akan senang sekali kalo aku,... engga ada...
Tapi, aku juga pengen sebenarnya dapat pengalaman 49 hari.
Kalau itu satu satunya cara membuktikan siapa yang benar benar perduli sama aku....
hahhahaha..

baiklah hal lain adalah..
that Scheduller Hot guy.. aku akan date aja sama dia jiahahahaha
daripada susah susah cari airmata yang ga akan ktemu...

ya ga..??


Senin, 28 November 2011

미워 Hate U, Love U


I want to hate you
But seeing you so happy next to another person
Is exhausting, now
Not knowing anything

I tried to erase you
But it wasn't something I could have
Please stay by my side
Nothing has changed, I'm by myself
I trusted that another love would come along but now
It's hard to even breathe
And becomes a bigger problem like this
My loneliness for you, little by little
Doesn't erase and remains

Day by day,
I didn't like living so weakly
I try to change the way I am right now

My loneliness for you, little by little
I tried to let you go without regret
Trusting I'd be able to stand it,
But the love that's still left
Just gets deeper
This weary loneliness
Cannot bear it day to day anymore
Slowly you become despicable


~evilhaeDH861015~

Kamis, 24 November 2011

JEALOUS?!! OFF COURSE!!

Title : JEALOUS?!! OFF COURSE!!
Cast :
Author Evilhae as Ahn Ra Ra
Lee DongHae Suju As him self
Park Chan Ri  as Her self
Kyuhyun  Suju As Him self
Co-Star :
Im Yoona SNSD
Eunhyuk SUJU as him self
Ryeowook SUJU as him self

Note :
Annyeoooong…. *bungkuk bareng Donghae
This is fiction story.. all moments happen is just my imagination.
This is pure my imagination  (b’coz missing haeppa so much! And feel jealous on lattest rumour)
Pls comment, anything .. but pls NO BASHING!
If any typo error, weird part, and riddiculus part… its my weakness as author.
Pls feel free to tell me how to improve on next story.
Enjoy reading everybody ^^

Ahn Ra Ra Pov,
Sudah hari ketiga… Hae tidak pulang ke rumah. Hahaha…dan aku sudah hampir gila memencet speed dial number  1 di handphone tanpa ada yang menjawabnya.
Saat ini dia memang sedang dalam rangkaian mempersiapkan world tour SS-5 . Latihan setiap hari.. pertama tama memang dia hanya pulang larut malam kemudian terkadang pulang pagi.
Namun, sudah 3 hari ini dia tidak pulang.. mungkinkah dia tidur di dorm..?  di pernikahanku yang baru 1 bulan ini,… aku sudah harus mendapat cobaan kesabaran seperti ini U_U.
Sebenarnya si.. aku itu bukanlah orang yang tidak sabaran, andai saja kemarin aku tidak iseng nonton infotainment  keparat itu!! 
ELF Hebat!! Aku berhasil disembunyikan agar tidak terpublikasi itu semua demi ELF, aku bahkan tidak pernah bebas pergi dengan suamiku sendiri dan.. itu semua demi ELF. Menjaga perasaan mereka.
Dan memang benar, mereka memang paparazzi yang handal juga.Itu ter bukti di infotainment kemarin.
“Lee Donghae, salah satu member  Super Junior, tertangkap kamera salah seorang ELF sedang bergandengan tangan di tepi sungai Han dengan Im Yoona member dari Girls Generation. Mereka sudah lama diberitakan bersama , namun,hubungan mereka dikabarkan putus nyambung… apakah kemarin itu mereka sudah bersama lagi..? Lee Donghae dan Im Yoona yang akan dikonfirmasi memilih menghindar dari wartawan. Menurut ELF, tipe wanita ideal Lee Donghae ada pada Im Yoona.”
Jujur, selama ini..aku bahkan tidak pernah membaca tentang profil dari Lee donghae.  Selain bahwa dia punya kakak bernama Lee Donghwa.. tak ada hal lain yang kuketahui  tentangnya aku bahkan baru tahu bahwa dia mencipatakan nama baratnya sendiri yaitu Aiden Lee. Dan seperti yang kalian tahu proses menuju pernikahan kami berjalan sangat cepat.  Bahkan kami tidak sempat pacaran.
Sedang apa dia sekarang.. benarkah berita itu.. lalu kenapa sama sekali.. tidak ada penjelasan apapun padaku…
“KYAAA!! IKAN ASIN, KALAU KAU BERANI PULANG, MATI KAU!!!!!!!!!” …
Ddrrrt ddrrrt…
Ponsel tak berdosa  diatas meja yang sedari tadi kupelototi akhirnya berbunyi.
“Yeoboseyo…. Ahhhh Ounnie… nde… gwenchanna… wae..? Molla….. ah.. ye…”
Ounnie sepertinya sudah melihat berita yang sama. Aku disuruh menemuinya di café. Atau lebih baik aku kembali bekerja saja ? Aku bisa gila dirumah sendiri seperti ini.
***

Di café,
“Kau benar benar tidak apa ? Lihatlah wajahmu itu pucat sekali.. tidak makan berapa hari… Aiish bocah itu apakah sekarang dia latihan atau di dorm?”
“Molla… dia tidak bisa dihubungi. Ounnie, bisakah kau tanyakan  kyu? Apakah dia bersama ikan asin itu ?”
“Ahh.. dia juga sama saja.. susah dihubungi.. “
“Ounnie, apakah kau pernah merasa kesepian oppa wamil ?”
“Anniy,.. dia menelponku setiap hari walaupun sekali. Dia memastikan aku makan.. katanya aku terlalu kurus.”
“Ounnie… aku bahkan tidak akan mengeluh kalau dia hanya sms 1 x sehari saja…”
“Apakah kau sudah coba mencari di studio latihan ?”
“Belum.. ..dia melarangku, karena khawatir manajer akan marah aku mengganggu konsentrasi latihan. Super Show 5 sebentar lagi. .. mereka harus benar benar konsentrasi.
Sekarang ini, dia bagikan ditelan bumi… dan aku sama sekali tidak bisa berbuat apa apa.
Park chan ri pov,
Wajahnya pucat pasi saat tiba. Entah berapa lama dia tidak makan atau pun tidur. Tidak heran, hal yang paling ditakutkan setiap istri.. suaminya.. terlihat bersama wanita lain.
Aiissh bocah itu.. sebenarnya dia dimana.. bahkan oppa pun tidak menjawab pertanyaanku.
Mianhae saeng.. aku bahkan.. tidak bisa berbuat apa apa untuk menenangkanmu.
***
Dorm Super Junior,
Tak akan kubiarkan bocah IKAN itu menyakiti hati dongsaeng kesayanganku.
Dok Dok Dok!
“Aaakh… Noona,.. kau kesini? Apa kau bawa makanan ? aku lapaaar….!”
“Yakh Monkey ! apa apa-an kau ini.. memangnya aku tukang catering hah !!! Dimana IKAN ASIN?! Dia disini… ayo katakana padaku.. dimana istri kesayanganmu itu!”
“Aiish Noona, kau ini kan yeoja masa kau memanggilku monkey… Teuki Hyung masih Wamil, lalu untuk apa kau kesini kalau bukan membawakan kami makanan ?”
“Aku tidak akan mengulangi ketiga kalinya!!! DIMANA BOCAH IKAN ??!!”
“Ah….. kau mencari  Fishy, ada apa? Kenapa kau tidak mencari ke apartemennya ? Kenapa kau tidak tanya Ra Ra ?”
“Aku ini tidak bodoh, kalau aku tahu dia di apartemennya bersama adikku akau tidak akan begini. Kalian kan latihan bersama, kenapa tidak tahu dia kemana  hah?”
“Mwo..? Ya kami latihan , tapi tadi setelah selesai dia langsung pergi.. kupikir dia pulang… kan  pengantin baru..” >> wajah yadong.
“Ada apa ribut sekali … Aaah ajjuma kau disini… ? Teuk-hyung kan sedang Wamil kau cari siapa…?
“Yesung-a apa katamu Ajumma ??!! Yakh, panggil aku noona. Aku kesini untuk membuat perhitungan dengan IKAN ASIN!”
“Mwo.. perhitungan ?? Donghae hyung ? wae ?”
Aku heran mereka ini bodoh atau apa. Masa tidak tahu kabar infotainment terbaru.
“Aaah sudahlah… aku pergi saja!”
“Yakh! Ounnie.. ada apa beritahu kami… !”
“Noona,…kau disini..? A.. ..Mana Ra Ra ?” >kyu baru saja keluar kamar
Huufth… aku harus mulai darimana…ceritanya..
***
Ahn Ra Ra pov,
Aku benar benar.. tidak bisa membayangkan.. Dia.. Dia…
Ah.. perutku lapar… huh, untuk apa aku masak.. tidak ada IKAN ASIN cerewet itu.. lebih baik aku beli jjangmyeon ..
Langkahku terhenti… pandanganku… memicing… aku tidak salah lihat kan ?
Itu… yang disana…terlihat yeoja sedang menggandeng seorang namja.  Dan kalau benar mataku ini tidak rabun.. aku tidak akan salah mengenali nya kan..?
Mataku terasa panas.., nafasku sesak, jantungku… , seketika… semuanya … Nampak gelap…
Samar  samar kudengar seseorang memanggil namaku.
“Ra Ra-Ya! Gwenchanna??! Ya… tolong jawab aku.. gwenchanna??”
Kepalaku terasa berat.. dan pening… sekali. Kucoba membuka perlahan mataku…
Samar kulihat satu persatu orang di sekelilingku. Ounnie,.., Pigkyu, … Hyukkie,.. Wookie..
“Saeng… gwenchanna… its ok.. kau sudah dirumah..”
Tiba tiba terdengar pintu terbuka dengan keras….
Kupandang orang yang baru saja datang itu dengan mata nanar…  hah.. dia untuk apa dia kemari
“Aah… kepalaku….. “
“Saeng, gwenchanna? Apa yang kau rasakan ? “
“sakitkah… sudah kubilang.. kau… makanlah… “
“Ra Ra-ya… kau..kau … tidak apa apa… apa yang kaurasakan sekarang ?”
Kenapa dia itu.. berani beraninya dia kembali kesini…  
“Ounnie… aku lelah sekali… kepalaku juga sangat sakit.. aku .. ingin istirahat…dan kalian PigKyu, Hyukkie, Wookie  pulanglah ke dorm.. aku sudah tidak apa apa… terima kasih sudah menolongku.”
Aku pun menarik selimutku..dan memaksa mataku untuk terpejam. Padahal rasanya aku ingin meledak. Tak kuhiraukan.. IKAN ASIN menyebalkan yang berdiri disamping tempat tidur.
“Ya.. Chagi… kau tidak apa kan..?” > tangannya berusaha menyentuh keningku namun.. segera kutepis.
“Kau Pergilah..aku ingin istirahat.” Kubalikkan tubuhku membelakanginya. Dan perlahan air mataku mengalir.
“Chagiya… aku.. kau tadi…ada disana..kan.. kau melihatku…?”
Aku tetap berusaha diam.. dan memejamkan mata.. meski air mata deras tetap mengalir.
Tiba Tiba… >langkah kaki mendekat dengan cepat…dan..
BUKKK!!!
“Hyung!! Ada apa denganmu ? Aku bersedia mengalah melepaskan Ahn Ra Ra.. karena kau bilang kau akan menjaganya!! Apa ini namanya menjaga HAH??!! Apa sebenarnya yang kau lakukan padanya Hyung ?”
“Yakh!! Kyuhyun-ah kau tidak tahu apa apa…. Jangan.. ikut campur. Ini adalah urusan ku dan istriku.”
“KALIAN!! Diamlah!!! Kepalaku sakit!DIIIAAAMLAAAAH!”
“Kyu, pulanglah… aku tidak apa apa.. aku benar benar ingin istirahat! Dan kau…Mr. Lee Donghae… bisakah kau pergi.. tinggalkan aku… please.”
***

Dorm Super Junior,
Kyuhyun pov ,
Tak bisa kupercaya.. hyungku yang kupercaya menjaganya malah tega berbuat hal nista dibelakang istrinya.
“Hyung, mau apa kau ikut kemari… ? Aku… benar benar kecewa padamu.”
“Yakh Kyuhyun, bisa tidak berhenti sebentar menghakimiku.. dan.. dengarkan aku??! Aku tahu saat ini aku tidak mungkin bicara dengan Ahn Ra Ra.. Dia.. pasti sangat kecewa..”
“itu sudah jelass!! Kau pikir kenapa  dia sampai sakit seperti itu hah ??!”
“Aku tahu… tapi kau harus dengarkan aku dulu..”
“MWO??!! Berpura berpura… atas permintaan agency… ? wae ….??”
“ Pertama karena promo the boys album, kedua.. agaknya sudah ada yang mulai mencari informasi identitas Ahn Ra Ra, jadi harus dialihkan ke pemberitaan yang lain.. semua semata mata demi kepentingan Ra Ra dan juga group.”
“Lalu mengapa harus dengannya, kau tahu Hyung.. dia itu benar benar menyukaimu.. bukan hanya karena tuntutan peran atau acting.. dia itu benar benar menyukaimu sebagai namja. Apakah itu tidak akan menyakitinya juga.”
“Itu.. semua diatur agency.. aku hanya halus melakoni drama seperti reality show. Lalu aku harus bagaimana ..?”
“Tapi.. apakah juga termasuk tidak pernah berkomunikasi sama sekali dengan istrimu.. apa agency juga memintamu untuk tidak SMS , tidak menengoknya.. dan menelponnya?!
Hyung dia itu istrimu.. dia kesepian dan dia bukan selebriti yang terbiasa dengan infotainment.
Dia itu gadis biasa hyung… kau mengurungnya dirumah dan tanpa penjelasan kemudian muncul dalam pemberitaan tengah bersama gadis lain.. apa kau pikir dia bisa menahannya.. selama 3 hari dia tidak makan hyung.. menunggu penjelasanmu ..tetap saja kau keterlaluan.”
“Masalah aku belum SMS, aku bingung cara menjelaskan.. dan kupikir dia itu paham akan kesibukanku dia kan juga pernah bekerja di redaksi majalah.. dia tahu bahwa pemberitaan kadang dilebih lebihkan.”
“Hyung,.. tapi sekarang dia tidak bekerja di redaksi dan dia sekarang istrimu… ingat itu..!”
Aku akui.. bersama Yoona yang mempunyai pekerjaan di bidang yang sama denganku… itu membuatku nyaman untuk sharing tentang lelahnya pekerjaanku.. Dia benar benar bisa memahamiku, disamping kami  satu agency, dia juga menjalani bidang yang sama denganku.
Hanya Yoona yang bisa membuatku nyaman di tengah padatnya jadwal. Tapi aku tidak mencintainya.. hanya merasa nyaman.. di lingkungan kerja dengannya.
Masalah perasaannya aku sudah menetapkan batasan bahwa aku sudah punya seseorang yang kuncintai. Aku hanya ingin mempunyai sahabat, dan rekan kerja yang nyaman.
Dengan Ra Ra.. dia berbeda.. karena.. dia adalah rumah bagiku. Tempatku pulang… dan melupakan semua beban dan stress pekerjaan … memandangnya di rumah.. menyentuh dan menyayanginya.. itu membuat ku menemukan energy baru. Masalah dalam pekerjaanku tidak bisa kuceritakan semua pada Ra Ra, dia tidak akan mengerti… aku tidak mau membebaninya namun tak kusangka kesibukan dan niatku untuk melindunginya… akhirnya jadi… begini.
***
Apartemen Hae-Ra  06.30 pagi..
Ahn Ra Ra pov,
“Yakh! IKAN ASIN !! Apa yang kaulakukan di rumahku pagi pagi begini hah ??!!”
“Mwo ?? Rumahmu ?? Ini kan rumah kita chagiii…Ahh… chagiya kau sudah bangun… sudah lebih baik kah ?”
“Mau apa kau ? Katakan dan cepat pergilah dari sini.”
“Ra Ra-ya.. mianhae… mianhae… aku ini… memang… suami yang buruk.., tapi aku tidak pernah punya niat sedikitpun untuk meninggalkanmu.. chagi.. Semua itu…………..“
Mwo,.. agency .. memintanya melakukan semua sandiwara demi Sone dan ELF ? (*ELF = fans SUJU, Sone =fans SNSD). Semuanya ini… drama …?? Apa apa-an ini… semua .. hah? Bahkan rumah tangga kami yang baru sebulan hampir saja dikorbankan hanya untuk… popularitas..dan kepentingan.. management ?
Jadi… Si Ikan ini, jujur…?
“Chagi… aku benar benar menyesal…. Aku … terlalu konsentrasi dengan pekerjaan… sehingga aku kurang memperhatikan perasaanmu. Jeongmal mianhae chagi..”
Pelukannya hangat… dan… tubuhnya yang lelah aku bisa merasakannya… Bibirnya yang lembut mengecupku pelan.. namun… tidak menuntut …my Aiden.. kau tahu.. betapa aku hampir gila merindukanmu..
“Omo.. kau menangis… sudah …tenanglah… aku berjanji akan memperbaiki semuanya. Aku besok akan meminta manajer untuk men-cut drama sepihak mereka ini.. Aku.. hanya milikmu saja..Jangan menangis lagi chagiya.. mianhaeyo… kau mau memaafkanku kan ..?”
“Aku akan memaafkanmu… asalkan… kau mau melakukan hal hal berikut ini..:
1.       Jauhi YOONA… sejauh jauhnya ( ini yang utama)
2.       Sampai akhir minggu ini masakkan aku makanan… dan ingat Bukan RAMYEON dan KIMCHI
3.       Angkat telpon dariku sebelum dering ketiga
4.       SMS harus diabalas kalau tidak, matilah kau..
5.       Bawakan aku bunga setiap hari dan cokelat
“Yakh,.. kau ini mau bertambah gempal lagi ? kenapa harus cokelat ? Kau ini harus banyak makan makanan sehat… Tapi… baiklah aku setuju… asal aku bisa melihat senyum dari istri tercintaku.. bagaimana? DEAL?!”
“Hmmm OKE. “
Aaah aku lega sekali …..
“Chagi… aku kan sudah 5 hari..tidak pulang… mmm bukankah kau rindu padaku…? Hari ini.. jangan kemana mana… tinggalah di kamar denganku..” >>tiba tiba menggendong
“Mwo..? tinggal… di.. kamar..saja..?? Denganmu…?”
dan…. Detik berikutnya.. aku hampir tidah dengar apa pun yang dikatakannya perasaanku melayang… seiring dengan kecupan di bahu, leher,..dan .. bibirku…
Selanjutnya yang aku tahu… aku… begitu bahagia dan mencintai namja  dibalik selimut ini… dan demikian.. pula.. sebaliknya..
Hari ini… kurasa… akan berlangsung cepat…  J
----------------end-----------------------




Selasa, 22 November 2011

what if..





it seems as though
the accumulated time is being greedy
Seeing as it hurts more today than yesterday

It was after i realized that i couldn’t be totally happy
With that smile towards me, that there was nothing special

What if.. it seems like you’re going to love me
Because it seems like you’re going to come to me if i wait just a little..
With these anticipations, I can’t leave you
Even though i know that as time accumulates, it becomes pain..

Even though i wanted to believe 
that that smile was just for me
It probably isn’t, right? but still.. just maybe…

What if.. i met you first..

No, if I didn’t know you
These thoughts are useless.
for i’m already living in the deeply set times of you

Even though love increases as much as time’s weight,
Even though pain is heavy
Still, i feel like you’ll love me
Because it seems like you’re going to come to me if I wait just a little..
With these anticipations, I can’t leave you
Even though i know that the accumulated time has made today..

~evilhae~
dh861015




My hearts filled with you
Give me your hand on my chest
It’s beating
You’re everything in my head
Within the difficult day in the world
You make me alive in the tiring day
After wandering for a long time

I still can’t saying that
I’m falling head over, tingling to say that word
Love you more than anyone else
Only you and me 

Whom I was searching anywhere on earth
When I almost collapse with exhaust
I just eye on you

It feels like a dream, so don’t wake me up
We so fine Do you want to fly to the sky
I mean no one can interfere us
Both holding hands will never let you go,I admit
I promise that everybody will envy us

Nothing can be measure
The more I getting know you 
I completely have a crash 
Having dream is a little delight
Drewing to see you

To unfold my only crumble wish
Within my wish, you and I may be together
You’re very far away
Whenever you come back closer 
I’m having my tears

~evilhae~
dh861015





I land upon a could in my dream 
A feeling that grows more excited 
Even looking from afar 
And being able to know 
I'll be closer to the one who took your heart 

I just want to confess 
I just wanted to be loved 
All things I've wanted and hoped for 

Do you have a wish, 
Tell me, ever more 
One-sided love, 
This isn't right 
You got to have me 
Everything in the world Will help 
If you so desire for it 

With a tender feeling 
(In the sky) 
The two of us above the clouds 
Our hands locked in promise 
(Oh I love you) 

It hurts so much, doesn't it 
Knowing by yourself 
In this spacious world 
The feeling that I just fell off 
I was happy even just with looking 
With a heart that couldn't date you 
Staying up all night, sobbing 

I want to confess 
I just wanted to be loved 
All things I've wanted and hoped for 

As the sun leaves the sky 
The road to destiny 
Becomes more clear 
Meeting by chance 
Was not an accident 
It was fate letting it happen

~evilhae~
dh861015

Jumat, 18 November 2011

FaNtAsY...






I can't hold this teardrop
Im so tired with this feeling
tired with all thought bout you
The last image of you
seems to be locked only in my memories

There's no chance for you and me,..
but why i trap my self deeply in this fantasy ..
Its really painful and i can't endure it
My Lord, please save me...
so that I can live in real world
Please show me the way to get into reality.

elsewhere in this world,
you never know that im exist,
didn't even notice me,..
but here i am invisible..inside of  small scope
watching you from a distance
how could i resist it all ..?


All I've got left is hope
I believe in it more than you do
if suddenly a miracle came into my life
among millions of human beings on this earth .. you ..found me
looking at me 
standing in front of me, 
then i will convey this
"Please just stay here.."
"Please stay by my side forever"
"I'll give you all the happiness in this world"
"There will be no more sorrow'
"lets just sing a love song everyday"


But if ,.. the miracle doesn't appear
I'll whisper through the wind blow
thank you, for the dream , for this fantasy world
you're the most beautiful gift .. from God..
i wont regret.. it
even though we're not  meant to be together..
I always love you.

~evilhae~
*kacau ni bahasanya..puisi GEJE maklum #galau bwahahaha :)








































Rabu, 16 November 2011

dEsTiNy



The world is a lonely castle
 Mutually seeking On that day the bugle horns that announce love Saw your smile

I am here and you on the opposite shore, searching
Days and nights flow away from us

In this sea of people
I stretch out my hand to you
The courage that makes me want me catch hold of destiny Love is a rugged road and I finally can hug you

Meeting your string of destiny, that split second where
I experienced real love
The strings of destiny of two people, two roads leading to the same end point other sights leave no memories
You are my most beautiful April day
Every fragment of memories
Made into the bookmarks of love


Meeting your string of fate, heaven means being right by your side
The strings of fate of two people;
Happiness is held in the spaces between interlocked fingers
Through eyecontact there is no need for words
There is only a need to look towards the other to hear
A soundless harmony
Performing forever and never changing 
Every day that I love you 

The merry go round sings a minor D
Tow good are fairytales
We do not need the green birds of happiness
We just need to lean on each other
I am here and you on the opposite shore, searching

Days and nights flow away from us
In this sea of people I stretch out my hand to you
The courage that makes me want me catch hold of destiny

Love is a rugged road and I finally can hug you
Meeting your string of destiny, that split second where I experienced real love
The strings of destiny of two people,
two roads leading to the same end point other sights leave no memories
You are my most beautiful April day
Every fragment of memories 
Made into the bookmarks of love 


Meeting your string of fate, heaven means being right by your side 
The strings of fate of two people; 
Happiness is held in the spaces between interlocked fingers 
Through eyecontact there is no need for words 
There is only a need to look towards the other to hear 
A soundless harmony 
Performing forever and never changing
Every day that I love you 
Every page, there is love's bookmark
Every line, forever unchanging 


Meeting your string of destiny, that split second where I experienced real love 
The strings of destiny of two people, two roads leading to the same end point 
Through eyecontact there is no need for words 
There is only a need to look towards the other to hear A soundless harmony 
Performing forever and never changing 
Every day that I love you 


~evilhae~
from : Super Junior M -Destiny  

mY other Half



Honestly at first, I didn't know
I was all alone in this big world
I learned more about sorrow than happiness
and then found you, my most precious person
You were the one who change me,


You're so dazzling,,
in a circle that i can't reach,
can't be touched, and
In a very far place,
but you're the person who embraced 
all the painful wounds on my closed heart
through your song

Though i was full of tears but,
I'll bring you only laughter
If only i could stay by your side forever,.
then this love will not be so painful
please stay by my side
lets watch the same dream together
Its you who i love

Are we meant to be together..?


~evilhae~

Selasa, 15 November 2011

LoVe , HappIness, You..

just looking at you, my heart flutters
seeing me like this, you always laugh
is this what love is? is this what happiness is?
making me open my eyes every morning (you know)



~Evilhae~

StAy..


 don't know when it all started
When my head became dizzy with thoughts of you

These thoughts would often pop up in my mind
I feel anxious as my heart expands towards you

It's nothing.. it's just a little thing
Your words are awkward to me

Is it love? If you feel the same way, is it a beginning?
My heart keeps saying it loves you
It screams out for the whole world to hear
Why has it taken so long for me to hear it~?
We've finally met.. finally found love

If I wanted to show you how I feel
The only way would be for you to become me

I'm already inside of you
Just like you're inside of me

To each other [to each other]
We may already be too accustomed

Is it love? If you feel the same way, is it a beginning?
My heart keeps saying it loves you
It screams out for the whole world to hear
Why has it taken so long for me to hear it~?
We've finally met.. finally found love

When I think about it [when I think about it]
I realize how many moments there were when my heart trembled
I'll try as harder as I was late in realizing my feelings
I'll be with you, I'll only give you fond memories
Please don't ever leave me again
Even the shortest moments without you make me uneasy
Please stay by me~

I already love you so much (you're the only one)



~Evilhae~

JeOngMaL SaRangHae

I miss you again, like yesterday.
Won’t this feeling of missing you, lessen any?
I keep thinking about you.

The more I try to sort through it all, the more the tears come.
Even when I try to steal it, the memories spread into
different memories through the tears that I shed.
It makes me cry so painfully.

All I can do is regret, because all I ever did was receive.
But I’m afraid you’ll forget me because I’ve never gave you anything.

I love you, I, I love you
These words have become a habit
and these words are among the many I’ve learned from you.
I sit around alone mumbling to myself like a fool.
I’m sorry truly, truly, I’m sorry.
I’m even sorry that these words are so late
But I’m waiting here for you shamelessly
Will you by chance come back tomorrow?

Even if the birdcage that represented you was narrow
I still liked it, I was still happy.
I’m returning to the day, to my dreams
when I believed in a forever without seperation

If I could go back I’d gather my heart, I’d take everything
from it and give it you.

I love you, I, I love you
These words have become a habit
and these words are among the many I’ve learned from you.
I sit around alone mumbling to myself like a fool.
I’m sorry truly, truly, I’m sorry.
I’m even sorry that these words are so late
But I’m waiting here for you shamelessly
Will you by chance come back tomorrow?

My heart..
In the end even if you can’t come
and you’ve changed and I’m not the one for you any longer
I’ll call and call out to you again
Like a parrot calling only your name..
Wishing for only your love like this



~Evilhae~

BABO..

No, I’m not.. It really doesn’t make sense
Even when I’m eating or falling asleep, I keep thinking about you like crazy
All the time I keep hating myself so badly
How could I, how could I fall in love with you? That’s a bit weird

My heart hears you.. from head to toe
My friends tease me for this but my heart only listens to you
One two three, you smile and I think I lost my breath
By seeing you’re smile, I’ll cook with love everyday
Forever I love

Why don’t you stop me? Why don’t you ignore me?
I feel depressed and dumbfounded but my heart only calls for you
For you I will become the god of cooking in the whistling wind
Seeing your bright smile and holdings your hands makes my heart feels happy

My heart hears you.. from head to toe
My friends tease me for this but my heart only listens to you
One two three, you smile and I think I lost my breath
By seeing you’re smile, I’ll cook with love everyday

I went through the night, and another night, and another night
My memories are getting blurred
But you always stay in my heart and in my smiling eyes
You’re the one forever~

My heart hears you.. from head to toe
Although the whole world laughs at me, my heart only listens to you
One two three, you smile and I think I lost my breath
Stay the way you are, I’m gonna say ‘I Love You’ and kiss you everyday
Forever I love you



~Evilhe~

LuCkY

When I am exausted, Lucky in my life
You come to me as if in a dream
When I sadly fall asleep, Lucky in my dream
You warmly hold me tight

I always smile like this
Even though the world is difficult
I will never show my tears
Even if you do don’t know my feelings
Even if it is from far away, I am grateful
That I can cherish your smile

When I want to cry, Lucky in my love
You look so cool in my imagination
When I feel depressed, Lucky in my world
You always hold me tight, as if in a dream

I always smile like this
Even though the world is difficult
I will never show my tears
Even if you do don’t know my feelings
Even if it is from far away, I am grateful
That I can cherish your smile

Everything is beautiful, I am so happy
I fill this lonley world with my wishes

I always smile like this
Even though the world is difficult
I will never show my tears
Even if you do don’t know my feelings
Even if it is from far away, I am grateful
That I can cherish your smile

Come one step closer to me



~Evilhae~

I DONT KNOW..

When did this begin, I guess the moment I first saw you
Every 1 minute 1 second, you keep coming onto mind
What are you doing.. Where are you now

I see this I see that
I do this I do that
You keep coming into my heart, I seemed to have gone crazy..
You do know why my heart is like this.. You do know why I'm feeling like this

Day by day I look at you only and waits for you always
Until now you're the only one I know and I will love only you
It's a valuable moment even when I'm loving you
If there is no you, I do not want to do anything at all

Every single day when I open my eyes in the morning, I want to see you
In my present days now, I cannot live if there is no you
I want to hear that one sentence "I love you" though
Every day, I love you..Only you, I love only you, Just the two of us

Probably just by imagination, thoughts like 'You are mine'
Can make my heart pound whole day long
I seemed to have gone crazy
I will run towards you..and confess honestly

Day by day I look at you only and waits for you always
Until now you're the only one I know and I will love only you
It's a valuable moment even when I'm loving you
If there is no you, I do not want to do anything at all

Struck for words.. Out of breath (out of breath)
Your two hands that is grabbing tightly of my shaking hand
I'm crying already.. Are you gonna confess to me now

Keep watching and guarding me always
If I cry because of you, you must hug me in you tightly
That's the moment I sincerely wish for
No matter how I think, I won't be able to believe

Every single day, guard by my side and look upon me only
Because I love you too much, you who treats me as a friend only
Will you say that one sentence that you love me now
Every day, I love you.. You love me only..


~Evilhae~

tHis fEElinG

I'm always walking alone
My heart is filled with empty holes
I've used too many excuses to mend my loneliness
But I still can't find back my freedom

Love has passed by me before
The feeling of liking remains in my memory
I'm used to searching for you It's enough to have you
It turns out that we've always been
There the most beautiful time

The gentleness that you're most familiar with has never left me
In my eyes what do you see
They're all your smiling faces
I finally understand that you will definitely be my happiness that I've persisted
This time I won't let go

The feeling has never changed before
The time stops turning for you and me



~Evilhae~

My LOVE, My KISS, My HEART



A day feels like a year. 
My heart continues to sink because it only looks for your trace for days.
When I forcefully swallow a bite of food, it feels like a grain of sand. 
The day without you has stopped. Just like this now

My love, my kiss, my heart
I’ll bury them all. A place deep in my heart
One love, one kiss, to my heart
I’ll try to forget everything. I’ll erase everything
The sound of my heart ringing.
It feels like a lie. This pain too.
Like the writing that has been washed away and smudged, you and I have been blurred and erased
The world is the same but when I look around, it is only you who is not by my side
I lost you. I lost everything

I can’t even turn back time
My love, my kiss, my heart
I’ll bury them all. A place deep in my heart
One love, one kiss, to my heart
I’ll try to forget everything. I’ll erase everything
It feels as if only the memories that are like broken pieces are stuck in it
Deep in my heart. Deep in my heart. In a place deep in my heart
The image of your face covered in tears haunts me. It hovers. It hovers. You who took my everything.
Last love, last kiss, last dream. My heart that knows you only remembers you
Only remembers you
Goodbye my love my kiss

It feels like it will have stopped.
I’ll try to forget
Like this without you
Just like this now
My love, my kiss, my heart
I’ll bury them all
A place deep in my heart
You are my love
One Love
one kiss to my heart
I’ll try to forget everything

#Taken from :
Super Junior : My Love, My Kiss, My Heart
~huaaaaaa... sediiih #ambil saputangan...~

BAD THOUGHT

what do i do. i keep having a bad thoughts.
i’m sorry

i know that i can’t be like this
if i say that it’s a lie

will my heart go back
tears fall

i can’t even look at you because i’m so sorry
my heart hurts

what do i say first
i can’t think

you keep making me have bad thoughts
the heart that’s forgetting you

is not a good heart to me
it’s such a bad heart
our love will never go away.. never

making me have bad thoughts
the heart that’s forgetting you
is not a good heart to me

it’s such a bad heart
it’s a bad heart. it’s a bad heart
erasing our love.. it’s such a bad thought


i don’t like farewells..
just breaking up with you..
i don’t like it even if i die

kindly
just think of me kindly
warmly

if you just say one word
i have no other wish

~Evilhae~

brightest person of the world

I love you, I love you, more than anyone else in the world


If I only have you, I’m happy


The brightest person of the world

The only person fallen from the sky

The stars of the night illuminate us

And even though the way home is a bit yearned

If we kiss in a narrow alley


Even the stars smile

I love you, I love you, more than anyone else in the world

If I only have you, I’m happy

The brightest person of the world

The only person fallen from the sky


I place you in my pocket


To take you out everytime I miss you


Tell me all 24 hours that you love me


Embrace me tight


Today and tomorrow our love will be the same


Even if everything in the world changes, we won’t change



For you, for you, my words of promise


Your only other half I will be


Even if there is a big chance of having a hurt heart


Even if we hurt each other many times


After the rain, the earth hardens


Because our love is like that too


I love you, I love you, more than anyone else in the world


If I only have you, I’m happy




The brightest person of the world



The only person fallen from the sky




~Evilhae~